


Walking Disasters

by manderly



Category: Daredevil (TV), Hawkeye (Comics)
Genre: Gen, Humor, and kate loves investigating, matt is suspicious af, pathetic attempts at humor, scoops that need snooping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-10 02:22:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4373564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manderly/pseuds/manderly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which Matt Murdock lives in Clint Barton's apartment building and Kate Bishop is getting mighty suspicious of the dude that keeps coming back at the crack of dawn looking like he got hit by a truck.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Walking Disasters

As was becoming increasingly more common, Clint woke up to his protégé helping herself to his apartment and more importantly, his coffee. At this point, Clint barely shrugged before shuffling his way over to his kitchen counter to pour himself a mug of caffeinated life’s blood.

Kate was already sitting at the kitchen counter, throwing bits of bread crusts to his dog, Lucky while simultaneously texting on her new StarkPhone.

“I gotta say, Clint. I’m not totally sure how I feel about your new tenant.” Kate took a long sip of her personal This is Kate Bishop’s Mug And I Know It’s In Your Apartment But It’s Still My Mug, Clint mug and promptly grimaced. Clint felt mildly offended for the insult to his coffee machine’s honor. “Aw, Clint. This coffee is seriously _awful_. I am _begging_ you to replace your centuries old coffee machine. I swear that thing witnessed the extinction of the futzing dinosaurs. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if it was the damn cause.”

“Aw, don’t talk about ol’ Carrie like that, Katie. She’s been delivering consistent sweet java juice for as long as you’ve been alive.” Clint draped over his kitchen counter like he was trying to slowly morph into it, took a long swig from his own coffee mug. “Besides, this tastes fine to me.”

Kate shot him a look of disgust, mouthing the words ‘java juice’ in sheer disbelief. “Yeah, ok. I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say ‘java juice’ cause I’m not sure this relationship can survive that kind of bullshit. And that’s cause you’ve got old man taste buds. Y’know your sense of taste gets worse, the older you get.”

“Hey! I’m not hearing this from a literal five year old like you!” Clint retorted. “And that’s cause this is good, strong coffee! Not like the frappuccino swill that you and your pre-schooler friends are used to.”

Kate rolled her eyes. “Sure, whatever, old man. I’m getting you a French press for your birthday whether you want it or not. And her name _will_ be Francesca.” She firmly placed her mug back on the counter. “But seriously, I’m not sure about that new tenant of yours. You seriously haven’t noticed anything weird about the dude in 318?”

Clint blinked. “Matt? Matt’s been around for ages, girly girl. He was at the rooftop barbeque last month. He brought that garlic bread.”

At that memory, Clint briefly closed his eyes. He could almost smell it now, with its homemade garlic butter and its comfortingly warm bread with that crunchy crust. Clint still regularly dreamed about it. Speaking of which, he realized that if he threw another rooftop barbeque and invited Matt, maybe he’d bring the bread again? Damn, now that was an idea. Okay, he was probably free next Saturday, as long another alien didn’t attack New York and if he asked early enough, maybe Matt would also be free next Saturday? Do lawyers work on weekends? Clint was pretty sure that lawyers didn’t work on weeke- 

“Clint!” Kate interrupted. Clint jerked back out of his garlic bread haze. “Snap out of it. You’re getting weird about garlic bread guy. _Again._ ”

“I’m out of it, I’m out of it!” Clint protested. “And I wasn’t getting weird about garlic bread guy! I was getting weird about garlic bread!”

Kate shot him a look. “Were you thinking about asking him for his recipe or basically asking him out on a date, but making it seem like it was an apartment-wide thing in order to make it less obvious that you're only interested in meeting up with him?" 

Clint replied with a revealing silence.

“Yup. I thought so.” Kate confirmed before sighing in defeat. “But _damn,_ Apartment 318 is _garlic bread guy?_ Dude, now _that_ is a game changer. That garlic bread was seriously amazing. That unfortunately makes him way cool in my books now.” She shook her head in defeat. “But, I still swear that I’ve seen him come back at like 6 AM for the last week and a half, looking hella beat-up each time."

" _Matt_?"

"Yes! Like, I’m not saying he’s in a fight club, but I’m thinking he might be in a fight club, Clint.”

Clint shot her an extremely skeptical look. “You’re telling me that blind lawyer Matt Murdock is in a _fight club._ ”

“Yes!” Kate insisted. “Maybe. I’m not sure. I’m just saying that it’s a total possibility.”

“Aw, Kate. Matt can’t be in a fight club. He’s a _lawyer_. Lawyers can’t be in fight clubs. I’m pretty sure that’s like one of the rules.” Clint protested. “Not to mention what _you’ve_ been doing up at 6 AM for more than a week. Now that’s _way_ more sketchy in my books.”

Kate sighed in fond exasperation. “Billy swears that Kyary Pamyu Pamyu is in the city and that she leaves her hotel at 7 AM every morning. They keep making the whole team get up early to stake out her hotel.” Kate shook her head in despair. “I don’t think the rest of us could care less about seeing her but whatever. If Billy gets sad, then Teddy gets sad and that’s two sets of puppy dog eyes that I can’t handle.”

Clint nodded sagely to make it seem like he knew who Kyary Pamyu Pamyu was.

Kate shot him a look that clearly implied that she saw right through his petty disguise, but was willing to look past it for the sanctity of their partnership.

Clint appreciated her discretion.

“Don’t pretend you know who Kyary is, Clint. We both know that you get this weird look on your face when you’re pretending that you know something that you obviously don’t.”

Never mind. 

Clint sighed heavily. “Katie,” 

“Don’t call me Katie.”

“I’m sure we’ve just got a misunderstanding on our hands here. I bet Matt has a totally legitimate reason to look kinda beat-up in the early mornings. Maybe he’s into boxing? Maybe he had a rough night in the office.”

“Clint, I swear to you that he looked _wrecked_. Like not recreational martial arts beaten up, like he was on the verge of death _beaten up."_  

“I dunno, Katie. I trust you, but he _is_ a blind lawyer. I seriously don’t think he’s going around getting involved with fight clubs.”

“Wow, Clint. I find your lack of faith disturbing!” Kate protested, gaining a fervent look in her eyes. She boldly stood up, accidentally knocking a kitchen stool in her passion. “You’ll see! This calls for a full investigation. PI Hawkeye has got the case. Clint, we’ve got scoops that need to be snooped!" 

With that declaration, Kate defiantly put on a pair of purple sunglasses and briskly left Clint’s apartment. Lucky followed at her heels.

Clint sighed in exasperation in her departure. “At least ask for his garlic bread recipe if you’re gonna harass him, Katie!” He shouted after her.

 “Great,” Clint muttered as he bent down to pick up the unfortunate chair. “Thanks for picking up this kitchen stool and putting your mug into the sink, Katie. I really appreciate the way you don’t clean up _your_ mess in _my_ apartment. In fact, just take my dog while you’re at it! Yeah, this is _fine.”_

* * *

**HAWKEYE:** can’t make it to kyary stake-out tomorrow guys :( :( :(

 **WICCAN:** :( aw why tho?? i know we’ll get her this time guys. i feel it!!!

 **HAWKEYE:** STAKE-OUT!!! i got a bad feeling about apartment #318!!

 **WICCAN:** you need us to come over??

 **HAWKEYE:** nawww i don’t think it’s that bad!! i just think #318 has some scoops that need to be snooped!!

 **WICCAN:** alright. let us know if you need help. i’ll teleport the squad over asap!! stay safe!!!

 **HAWKEYE:** i always do ;*

 **WICCAN** : no u don’t

 **HAWKEYE:** lol no i don’t. i’ll let you guys know.


End file.
